Loneliness is not just for the elderly either sitting at home or in nursing care waiting to die.
It’s a very real feeling for a lot of people today for all ages, with or without family.
In fact, a study done by an American health insurance provider Cigna showed that younger people Gen Z have the highest loneliness score, followed by millennials and then Gen X.
Today we are feeling more isolated and lonely than ever before and we are more disconnected in part because of technology.
While technology has helped many of us connect with loved ones and friends who we haven’t seen or kept in touch with for some time, we are more alone than ever before.
Studies have found that despite being more connected, more people feel more alone than ever.
So it seems that because technology makes it easier to stay in touch more and more people find themselves feeling distant and never having any human contact.
We human beings crave intimacy and human contact We crave that connectivity where we can talk face to face.
From my own experience, I’m busier than ever however, at times it feels that having loads to do doesn’t always fill up my happy cup.
I was thinking back to when we use to just go out with friends and have a good time without having to worry about posing for that perfect snap to share on social media and to tell the world yeah we’re having a good time!
What’s wrong with just enjoying the moment with the special people that we’re out with and keeping those snaps for our own memories or for sharing later after the event?
Loneliness might not seem like a medical problem but it can impact your overall health and wellbeing.
I remember watching a show where they brought kindergarten kids into a nursing care centre to help brighten up the residents day.
One older man remarked before the kids came in that he felt he was just waiting to die. He was so grateful for the kids who showed him some kindness, laughter and fun and it reminded him that there’s still more life in him yet.
This situation is not just limited to the elderly in nursing care.
Loneliness can come about when people have partners, whether married or not.
The study from Cigna asked about relationships and 43% of respondents said that they sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not “meaningful.”
The same percentage of participants said they sometimes or always felt isolated from others, even those closest to them.
How many times have we seen people on their phones out for dinner and are not communicating but looking at their device instead.
Couples are not talking as much as they use to and I often laugh when I see couples talking to each via their social media posts.
I’ve heard from friends and seen it for myself that while hanging out to engage and talk with our partners – the other is on their phone appearing to be more interested in other people’s lives than their own.
Maybe that’s why there are more relationship breakdowns?
I use to think a lot had to do with money but I’m wondering whether it’s a 50/50 between no communication and no money?
So it seems that because technology makes it easier to stay in touch, more and more people find themselves feeling distant and never having that true connection. Or at least not enough to avoid the feelings of being alone.
Loneliness can be overcome, but it does require a conscious effort on your part to make a change. Making a change, in the long run, can make you happier, healthier, and enable you to impact others around you in a positive way.
Here are ways to prevent and overcome loneliness:
1.Identify that when those feelings of loneliness and unhappiness come about to look at ways you can change by doing something, whether it be volunteering, going for a walk, meeting a friend, finding groups in your community that offer activities that you’re interested in and go do them.
2. Talk to your partner or friends and suggest some real conversation by putting down the devices.
3. Understand the effects that loneliness has on your life, both physically and mentally.
4. Look at ways to cultivate new friendships by joining a club or join a “meetup group” that offers something you’re interested in and gets you meeting new people.
5. Focus on developing quality relationships with people who share similar attitudes, interests, and values with you.
6. Lonely people often expect rejection, so instead focus on positive thoughts and attitudes in your social relationships.
Loneliness can have an overall effect on your health, so be sure to look at including some of the suggestions I’ve shared above, so it doesn’t affect your health and wellbeing.
If you’re looking for more financial or emotional support then join either my FB Group or Monthly Coachingto get inspire and live a happier, healthier life.
Until next time, here’s to your health, wealth and happiness.
You may have noticed or “may not” that I’ve been off the air and haven’t posted or shared anything for a while.
There’s a couple of reasons for that and I’ll share with you ONE now and the other I’ll save for another time in a more intimate group via a live training call on how to move forward when you’re feeling emotionally, mentally and financially stuck.. soon.
So make sure you keep an eye out and join me for this special live training.
So one of the reasons I’ve been a little quiet is because I’ve felt there’s been so much noise on social media loads of talk, new stuff coming on our feed – some good and some I feel not so good.
So I decided to stop and just think about what are people looking for?
What am I looking for?
The answers were obvious.
Firstly. we all want the same things in life to live free from stress and worry, whether it be about money, relationships, work or other stuff.
A life that when we come to the end of our days we can say YES we had a good time and we lived the best possible life for us, one with loads of fun and a life with meaning.
And secondly, what I discovered was that 80% of life is about the stuff that’s going on between our ears the constant conversation we’re having in our head, where the 20% is about the doing – the know-how.
You see I use to think it was the other way round.
80% – knowledge, know-how and just doing it, while the
20% – is about mindset and getting that right.
I realised that in order for my clients to be truly successful in all areas of life I have to help them unravel what’s going on upstairs. What thoughts, beliefs and misconceptions they were constantly thinking about themselves and their life.
You see most of my clients were sabotaging their long term happiness because of the beliefs they were carrying around about themselves – self-sabotaging thoughts.
As I started to work more closely with them I discovered their limiting beliefs were holding them back from living the life they truly desired.
So I had to change things up and flip things on their head “so to speak” by focussing on breaking down these limiting beliefs and re-building new thoughts about themselves to create a realistic transformation.
Because what I discovered was that it wasn’t as easy as I thought to just to get their money in order, I had to get their mind thinking different thoughts, because most didn’t feel good about themselves or even like who they are.
So I’ve decided to change things up a bit and spend time equally talking about mindset and financial, with more emphasis on looking to improve some of the crappy beliefs we carry around about ourselves.
For example; when you truly love yourself and are at peace with who you are and how your life is you find that you don’t talk about people, bitch about them or compare yourself to them.
You also find you have less interest in gossiping and spend more on what makes you happy.
If you don’t believe me then I challenge you to stop and listen to the thoughts you have in your head and hear the words you’re speaking.
Are you talking about someone all the time, sticking your nose in where it’s not wanted or are you an active listener and participating in conversations without judgement and criticism?
When we take our focus off others and focus on our own life – we’re able to help not only ourself live a better life but others around us, because we’re not getting involved in their dramas.
What we’re doing is freeing the often negative, exhaustive thoughts that are constantly swirling around in our head when we’re not involved in gossip, criticism or judgement.
So it’s all about the 80/20.
80% – Mindset, thoughts, beliefs & how we feel.
20% – Know-how, knowledge & education.
In order to build both financial and emotional muscle, learn to let go and focus on yourself and your happiness first.
For more support and help to do this join my monthly coaching or access, any of my ONLINE PROGRAMS to live the life you’ve always dreamed.
Until next time…….here’s to your financial health, wealth & happiness.
Let’s talk about how your thoughts, views and what you possibly heard when growing up is seeing you still miserable and poor!
Your attitude combined with who taught you about money – has shaped the way you live today whether you are experiencing financial stress or have money behind you and living a stress-free life.
I want you to answer this question?
Who was your role model, who did you learn your money management skills from while growing up?
Did your parents or grandparents ever talk to you about money?
Having conversations around the dinner table while growing up about money is equally as important as the “Birds n Bees” talk that most of us are given at a certain age – if you know what I mean.
They say talking about money is taboo but I disagree. If you don’t start talking about money how are you ever going to learn about managing it more effectively?
Whether you grew up talking about how to save and use money wisely or not has shaped your perception today on how you live your life and what kind of a lifestyle you have created for yourself.
You will either have money in the bank or spend every dollar you earn.
You see 80% of us are managing our money out of sheer habit with no real understanding why and this has adverse effects down the track if you haven’t got a grasp on how to work it well. As it can either make or break the quality of our life in years to come.
I was having this very conversation with my Mum a while back and she was commenting that money was never talked about. There was never the education around this subject like she said is starting to happen today.
“Mum went on to say that it’s not until you retire that you start to feel the pressure or relief of how you worked your money. She stressed that saving is not a thing for today’s generation and she wished they knew the real power of this as she said it’s going to make a huge difference to the quality of someone’s life at the end of their working life”.
We are sadly creatures of habit. We do the same things over and over again often expecting to get different results but of course, we’re going to get the same results if we don’t change our thinking or our habits.
If you have decided you want a better life, then you have to look at what your belief is around money.
What did you hear growing up about money?
I’m guessing a few of these saying probably popped up and has created in some part a belief system to which you manage your money today.
Money doesn’t grow on trees.
It takes money to make money.
Some people, without a doubt, have more dollars than sense
He who has the gold makes the rules
A good name is better than riches.
Health is better than wealth.
Money is the root of all evil
You can’t take it with you when you die – now that’s spoken like a true spender lol! and the last common saying you may have heard is …AND
Money isn’t everything
Another contributing factor to what you may have heard about money is through sources like:
TV and regular news bulletins – which the media is great at giving you the grim view about financial markets and money today. They thrive off the negative stories.
How many times do you hear positive news stories about everyday people making it big (yes we hear about the lotto win stories) but over time we know that if those winning the lotto haven’t got a handle on how to manage money then in a few short years they will be back to where they started before winning.
Another popular source for hearing about money is when catching up with friends, especially from those friends that consider themselves a wiz at investing.
Offering you their 2 cents worth of knowledge on how they made a fair bit of money on xyz stock or a particular investment, but never how much they lost during the process. I challenge you to ask them how much they have lost up to that point!
There are so many areas to hear and learn about financial education.
A word of caution though to check where you’re getting your information from to see if it’s from a reliable source.
AND always trust your gut instinct because if it looks too good to be true then it probably is.
The subconscious is such a powerful thing that what you think about all day long is what you attract and this applies especially to your lack or abundant thinking about money.
When we keep saying to ourself ….oh we have no money… we’re poor…. we’re never going to get ahead then that’s what you’re going to keep getting.
But when you say to yourself, ok I’ve got this I’m going to keep putting money away and not touch it. I’m going to use cash for a while to curb my spending. I’m going to get there and we’re going to be debt free in no time then you will.
Keeping a positive mindset is one thing but actually doing the thing that’s going to free you up financially is another and both go hand in hand.
So what could you do today to change the way you think about money?
Motivational sayings are especially good when you feel a negative or disbelieving thought come up.
Having a massive belief in yourself that you’re going to make it is another way to change things.
Watch how things start to improve when you combine a positive mindset with activity and action.
Three facts about money I’m going to leave with you are:
Having good money habits takes enormous pressure and stress off you worrying about how you can afford to live day to day.
Having an awesome mindset can move you from poor money habits to good money habits, and
Lastly, anyone can change their belief around money if you decide to choose to, regardless of how you grew up and where you came from.
If you’re looking for more help and guidance in managing your money and getting your money back into great financial shape – then check out my ONLINE PROGRAMS that I’ve created to teach people this very thing – how to move them into awesome financial health.
Also available is my monthly coaching program that helps you to stay on track while you achieve your financial goals.
Look forward to seeing you in one of my programs.
Until next time…….here’s to your financial health, wealth & happiness.
If you had the magical power to change your life into what you really desired it to be like, would you exercise that power?
Of course, you would!
First, you would have to strip away the fantasy and then you would have to get down to the nuts and bolts of what you would really want for yourself.
Most people, for a number of reasons, never get past the fantasy stage.
Some are not aware they really could make the change, while others are too lazy or throw up excuses and complaints. After all, change does requires effort.
So get really serious for a moment and ask yourself ………….. are you prepared to do the work to achieve the life you truly desire?
Are you?
Let’s do a little exercise for the moment.
I want you to imagine you are now 90 years of age.
Yep, a little wrinkly possibly still living at home or moved in with loved ones or maybe you’re living in an aged care facility.
Take a moment to imagine your older self.
Now what you’re going to do is write down all the things you have done, experienced and achieved up to this point. Remember you’re writing it down as a 90 year old!
You’re going to write down all the personal fun you’ve experienced, romantic partners, the adventures and holiday you’ve taken, the homes you’ve lived in, the cars you’ve driven and the lifestyle you created for you and your family.
Once you’ve written what you’ve experienced and achieved, next write down how this makes you feel.
So, how are you feeling, are you smiling and feeling happy with joy or maybe you’re laughing to yourself that you’re a little exhausted about a life well lived?
Did you live the life you had always hoped and dreamed of?
What did you achieve in those last 50 or so years of your life?
Did you live the life you truly wanted and desired?
Were there many memories and fun times?
Did you get to travel to some exotic places?
Have you lived a very comfortable life and without money concerns?
Is it fun to be able to spoil your family with the money you have accumulated during your working years? and
Is your heart warm with joy from being able to have given to the many charities of your choice?
If you’re looking back and happy with what you’ve achieved – well done this means you’ve worked hard, made the right choices in how you managed your money so you didn’t have to worry about money during your retirement years.
Now is the time to make the change. Time to get your money sorted and working hard, while you continue accumulating during your working years.
The 3 keys ways to do this is to;
SAVING. Keep putting a certain amount away (minimum of 10%) at payday into a set and forget account.
BALANCE. Ensure your spending is well under your earning capacity, and not spending more than you earn.
GROWING. Learning how to grow and invest your money while you work by making additional contributions into your superannuation fund.
Here in Australia, we’re fortunate as it’s compulsory for Australian employers to put a percentage of an employee’s salary into a nominated super fund.
For my overseas readers take advantage of the superannuation opportunities offered in your country while you can, as this will boost your retirement options considerably.
There are other opportunities to grow your wealth either by investing in direct shares, managed funds or looking at property investing.
Whatever investment option you choose make sure it’s one that you’re comfortable with and you sleep easily at night not worrying about what happens when the investment market moves up and down.
Looking for more support, education or help in getting your money in better shape then check out the online programs I offer which teach anyone how to build financial muscle before it’s too late.
Also, check out my monthly coaching program which is super affordable and enables you to get your questions answered while learning more about managing money to your advantage.
When life suddenly throws you a curveball whether the signs were there or not and you haven’t prepared yourself for what’s about to come, it can send you into a spin and see you experience massive stress and anxiety.
Financial & Relationship stress go hand in hand and it’s still the number one trigger point for most.
When a relationship breaks down and you’re left to sort out where to go and what to do – money stress is ever-present.
Not only are you dealing with the emotional stress of the relationship breakdown, but you’re now having to deal with where to live, how to survive and then there’s the issue about money which is about to get very messy.
Then if children are involved a whole other issue about custody arrangements and financial support start coming into play.
It’s like you’re in the middle of a soap opera and left emotionally drained.
When an event like this is triggered a person will feel a whole bunch of overwhelming feelings like sadness, anxiety, or even experience panic attacks.
What happens next is that our body goes into one of the “fight, flight or freeze modes” and our heart beats faster and our senses go on high alert. Also our brain stops some of its normal functions to deal with the threat we may be feeling or experiencing.
If this has happened to you or you can see life is about to dramatically change then get some help.
Firstly, find someone who is unbiased and independent and someone who doesn’t know you or the situation that you’re about to experience.
When people are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out they sometimes don’t make decisions that are in their best interests or health.
If you know of someone or you yourself, are feeling any form of stress then get some help. You don’t have to do this alone. There are people and organisations that can help.
Be on the lookout for the SYMPTOMS that stress can produce:
PHYSICALLY
Tiredness, headaches, accidents, tightness in neck and shoulders, restlessness, ulcers, hypertension, respiratory problems, diarrhoea or constipation, chest pain, back pain, upset stomach, skin problems, weight loss or gain.
If stress is experienced for long periods of time it can result in physical, mental and emotional exhaustion or ‘burnout’.
STAY CONNECTED
We need to look out for one another, stay connected and ask if we’re ok.
If your gut is telling you that you’re not ok or that someone close to you is not, then make sure you’re there for them. More often than not they’ll say they’re ok and will remain silent while living with their pain.
SUPPORT
Here in Australia, we have an organisation called Lifeline which is a national charity that has been providing assistance to Australians experiencing difficulties for over 55 years.
If you’re reading this and not in Australia then seek out your country’s support network to ensure you get help and are not dealing with this alone.
In Australia, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 anytime as they’re available 24 hours a day.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
I have created a tool kit to help you identify when you’re feeling overwhelmed about what to do.
Other resources I have available is my monthly coaching program which is a fraction of the cost than other coaching programs at $37 per month and with no lock-in contracts. You can exit whenever you choose.
Also, courses teaching you money management skills and how you can build financial muscle. You can check out what’s available HERE.
In the meantime, here’s to your financial health, wealth & happiness.
