Supporting someone with money stress can be challenging because they may be resistant to accepting help or discussing their financial difficulties with you.
Often people don’t want you to know they are struggling because of judgement, but this is the time to be the friend or family member to support them. There is always a way out and often they can’t see that due to the stress they are experiencing.
Sadly some people feel the only way out is to leave this earth and that only leaves the loved ones behind with sadness and more stress than ever before.
Simply checking in with someone, taking them out for coffee, and listening to how they are doing can go a long way toward helping and being the supportive person they need.
Here are some ways to help them while still giving them space to maintain their dignity:
LISTEN ACTIVELY
Start by being a good listener. Let them talk about their financial concerns and stress without offering advice or judgment. Sometimes, just having someone to vent to can relieve some of the emotional burden.
YOU CAN HELP WITHOUT GIVING MONEY. YOU CAN SHOW YOUR SUPPORT IN OTHER WAYS.
Offer your time, company, or help with things that do not cost money, like doing chores around the house, running errands, or giving emotional support during hard times.
PUT AN UPBEAT SPIN ON ANY DISCUSSION OF MONEY AND ALWAYS ASSUME THE BEST.
You could say, “I have been looking into some great financial resources that I think could help anyone, and I thought you might find them interesting,” instead of “You need help with your finances.”
RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY.
Give them space and privacy when it comes to their finances. Do not ask them too many questions or force them to talk more than they want to.
MAKE MONEY PROBLEMS MORE COMMON BY TELLING STORIES OR GIVING EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD MONEY PROBLEMS AND GOTTEN THROUGH THEM.
This can show them that many people have trouble with money and that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
BE PATIENT.
Know that it might take them some time to open up or accept help. Wait your turn and let them lead the conversation and decision-making.
OFFER HELP WITHOUT BEING OBVIOUS.
If you find articles or financial resources that could help, share them in a quiet way. You can send them an article or a link instead of talking directly about their money.
SUGGEST PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE.
If you believe they would benefit from professional financial advice, make a non-confrontational suggestion. You might say, “I know someone who is really knowledgeable in this area. Would you be interested in talking to them? It might give you some new insights.”
AVOID OFFERING FINANCIAL ASSITANCE.
Do not give them money directly unless you are sure it will not hurt your relationship or encourage them to act irresponsibly. Instead, focus on helping them feel better and giving them information.
EXPRESS YOUR CONCERN.
Tell them you care about their well-being and are ready to help them in any way they feel comfortable. Make it clear that you are not judging them, but that you care about their happiness and health as a whole.
STAY SUPPORTIVE.
Keep being there for them, even if they do not accept your help or ideas right away. Let them know that you will always be there for them.
It is important to give them their independence and let them decide for themselves what to do with their money. You can give them help and resources, but in the end, they have to be ready to take steps on their own to deal with their money stress.
Your patience, understanding, and willingness to not judge them can go a long way toward helping them get through their money problems.
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